Monday 16 January 2012

Record Books ...

Riley has been doing a couple of new things in the past week, which I thought I should record somewhere in his record book; I'm usually so bad at remembering to update it! So I though I would share some of the pages from his record book on my blog. We have Eric Carle's Very Special Baby Book which retails at £12.99, however we got ours form Amazon for just £7.26, with FREE delivery! This is a lovely hardback book that comes in a presentation box, to keep it looking nice. The illustrations in the book are bright and are taken from different Eric Carle books. 


The front of the book has a little window where you can attach a picture of your little one. 

The book has several different sections and though it doesn't have everything I wanted in a record book (month by month pages for example), it was the closest to what I was looking for. I think so many books have too many sections. This book is comprised of the following sections; 

1." Before you were born", which has pages for all about Mummy/Daddy, Mummy's family and Daddy's family, waiting for you, thoughts and feelings. 

 These are some of the pictures I put into this section of myself and James in the years before Riley was born. 

These pictures are of both of our graduation ceremonies in 2010 ... little did we know we would be pregnant with Riley a couple of months later!

Some pictures I took of Riley's scans. 

2. The next section is titled "Welcome"! and has pages for your child's birth story along with space for both Mummy and Daddy's version of events! There is then some space for pictures, hand and footprints, birth announcements and an envelope to store hospital bracelets and other keepsakes. This section ends with a page to document what was happening in the world. 

 These are a couple of Riley's first pictures. 

 Riley's footprint.

Riley's hospital wristband x2 and belly button clip. 

3. "Coming Home". This section has space for, "Bringing You Home"; where you can record what baby was wearing and what you did in that first week. There is picture space for family, and a page to document visitors in those first few days. 

This is Riley's Bringing You Home page. 

4. "Your Firsts & Favourites". There is a page for firsts including; sleeping through the night, smiling, rolling over, sitting up, waving, crawling, standing, first words, holding a spoon, holding a bottle and first steps. There is also a first haircut page with an envelope to store a lock of hair. There is then a page for favourite things like toys and plenty of photo space in this section of the book. 

This is a picture from Riley's first football match and kit. He was only 11 days old for the Champions League Final. 

Riley's First's page.

4. "Playtime". Favourite friends, toys and picture space for playtime with both Mummy and Daddy. Bathtime rituals, bedtime rituals, favourite stories and toys baby sleeps with. 

5. "Special Days". Holidays; this is an American book, I realised, so Holidays means Christmas, Halloween, Easter etc. There is some space for pictures, though with the amount I have, I don't think the picture space is adequate! A first birthday page, with plenty of picture space. 

6. "Milestones". An age, height and weight chart. A keeping you healthy page, with space for recording first doctor visits and immunisations etc. Teeth, so you can record which ones come through and when. Finally there is space for letters from friends and family. 

I love this record book and think because of the quality of it, it will be lovely to look back at in years to come. This would make a great present for someone you may know who is expecting a baby ... I would have loved to have received something like this as a gift. 

Do you have a record book? Which one? Why did you choose that one? 



Sunday 15 January 2012

How to be a good mother ...

If only it were as simple as following a manual, or even watching a T.V programme; being a good mother. My "early" night turned into a late one when I decided to stay up and watch "How to be a good mother" on channel 4 wednesday night, http://www.channel4.com/programmes/how-to-be-a-good-mother-with-sharon-horgan/4od. This documentary was fronted by Sharon Horgan who spent some time with six mums, who think their ways of parenting make them good mothers'. Some parts of this documentary had me laughing with how ridiculous/extreme some of these mums views on bringing up their children were; while other parts infuriated me as to how some mums, who think they have got it so right, view other mums, so much so it impelled me to blog.

We see this kind of thing, good parenting, debated all the time, in the news with results of research, saying we are harming our children and hindering their development; if we do or don't do certain things. Then there are other mums, who openly judge your choices and make you feel as if you're not a good mum, because your choices don't mimic their own. There are two points that I really took issue with, the first from stay-at-home-mum Daria who came across as quite ignorant; if you are not parenting her way, you in her mind are not a very good mother. Daria believes that women who go back to work do so because it's easy, easier than staying at home and bringing up your child. I'm due back at work in a couple of weeks and believe me I'm not going back because it's easier. I'm sure most mums will agree with me when I say, I'm going back to work for financial reasons. I would love to stay at home and raise Riley however, if we want to buy our own home and for our son to have the best, we need two wages to be coming in. I also think a little separation is good, for us both, being a mum isn't all there is to being me, and that doesn't make me a bad mother for saying that. It will also give Riley a little independence and will prepare him for the school years, when I can't be with him. I will be working part-time and will therefore be with Riley 24/7 for the majority of the week. I don't think that by working this makes me a part-time mum. 

Well that is rant number 1. over, now for number 2. Lynnea, who is placenta mad might I add, runs her own placenta baking business. What really frustrated me with Lynnea, was her suggestion that people that don't give birth naturally (caesarian section) don't have a bond with their child. How ignorant is this! What are women supposed to do if there are complications that mean this is the only viable option? I'm sure anyone who has had a caesarian section will not have any less of a bond with their child than someone who hasn't, and no woman should put another down for needing one. Her ignorance infuriated me!!


But this got me thinking about another issue that really frustrates me; pain relief. Some women seem to think that unless you give birth with the aid of only gas and air this has made them and their birth so much more triumphant than someone who needed more. Personally I think giving birth, with whatever "help" is an amazing feat. We don't have the exact same pain and experience during birth as each other, everyone is different. So to make someone feel as if they didn't achieve what you did, is awful. My birth plan was natural, natural, natural, NO! to Pethidine and Epidurals ... perhaps I was one of those people, pre-birth, that held that notion and being my first time, I was naive and didn't know what was in store. Fast forward to my birth, the most agonising pain I could ever imagine or even begin to explain. I was panicking and was only 2cm dilated and I needed to calm down so I was given Pethidine; this made me drowsy, it didn't stop the pain in any way or make the birth of my son any easier than someone that didn't have Pethidine.


How to be a good mother, is about doing what you think is right and I don't think it is anyone's place to be saying their way is the right way. After all, we have all been brought up differently and place emphasis on different morals and values, which we try to teach our children when raising them. Since becoming a mum, I've learnt to not take any notice of what anyone else is doing with their children. Ultimately, myself and Riley's dad know him and his needs better than anyone else, therefore so long as we are happy with: how we are raising him, teaching him to be a good citizen and how he is developing as a result of this then I think I'm being a good mother. It's not about if I breastfed or not, if I went to Antenatal classes, how he was born, if I work or don't work, if I take him to baby classes, or what clothes and possessions I buy him.


It seems to me, parenting is just another way for women to put each other down, when really we are all in the same boat; trying to be as good a mother to our children as we can.


What do you think?